[From my journal on November 26, 2007]
Jan was having a hard time staying in bed tonight. When Jess went down to get water, she came in to ask me to put her blanket on her. I chose to ignore her because Jess had given Jan explicit instructions to stay in bed and consequences if she got out.
When Jess came up with the water, she found Jan in the hall. Jan started to cry and in a heart-broken voice told Jess how she came to talk to Daddy, but he wouldn’t talk to her, and didn’t turn his head to look at her. She was so sad. I almost ran out to hug her. She went to bed and stayed there for a while which allowed me to go tuck her in.
I thought I must know a little how God feels. How often do we try to ask God for things, but He can’t answer or look at us because we have chosen to be disobedient. He gives us commandments and consequences and He MUST abide by them. If He breaks them even once, even the smallest one, He would cease to be God. He can not be the law giver and enforcer and break His own laws. I think I felt a bit of the heart ache He feels when He is bound to His laws and can not help because we have not kept our part of the bargain.
Fortunately, He is a merciful God and we can rectify our standing with Him when we apply the Atonement of Jesus Christ. Through repentance, continued obedience, and the cleansing power of the Atonement, we can have again a clean and pure relationship with our Father in Heaven.